About Me

The Ego has landed....

This is my "story", it isn't really me, Dermot Murray is an illusion, a dream that began when this biological "spacesuit" began to inhale the mixture of gasses that form Earths atmosphere and the dream will end with the final exhalation of those same gasses. We all have a "story" that we believe is the person that we think we are. We hear words, see things and witness events. Then we create our "world" in the form of a story. And we believe the story even though it isn't true......

I was born the bastard son of an intelligent, attractive 20 year old single mum. My mother had to work to support herself, me and her mother - so I didn't get to see her much. From birth to age seven I was raised by my maternal grandmother, an eccentric, unemployable Irish Roman Catholic. We lived in a remote cottage with no bathroom (the toilet was a bucket in an outhouse), no heating except a Rayburn stove and an open fire in the front room, no telephone, no television and not much of anything else. This was before the "benefits" explosion of the 1960s.

Aged 7, I was introduced to a new step father - a soldier who was also a Methodist lay preacher. A hypocritical bully with delusions of greatness who loved the sound of his own voice. We moved to a tin box on wheels (caravan) until I was eleven and then to a new house where I discovered the luxury of "modern" living - central heating, a bath and a television. I even got a train set and a pet dog! But I also got regular beatings from my step father - you win some, you lose some. Aged 13 I changed my name and went to school in Germany (because my step father was in the army). We came back to England when I was 15 because my Grandmother had dementia and needed constant supervision. My mother divorced my step father when I was about 18, I was so off my head on booze by then that I didn't even notice.

I didn't enjoy childhood and often wished I had never been born.

As of February 2025 I am still alive and 72 years old - which means most people will stop reading now.

By the time I was 14 years old I had learnt that all the Abrahamic  religions (Judaism, Christianity - all the different brands - and Islam) were just superstitious bullshit, all education systems were brainwashing institutions and all authority figures were psychopathic bullies. Lucky old me. I left my new school in England after 4 months aged 15 with no "qualifications" and began learning about the true nature of life.

I discovered I was not suited to the idea of "work". I have had over 20 "jobs". The only ones I enjoyed were the times I spent helping people with learning disabilities and chronic mental health problems. I have never been mentally stable or "normal" myself so empathy played a part there.

By the time I was nineteen I was an alcoholic and had already had my first failed suicide attempt. I was incapable of forming and committing to any form of human relationship - but I have always got on well with "non human" people (animals) and they all seem to like me.

I celebrated my 21st birthday in Paris after leaving England and hitch hiking to France with £100 and a change of clothes and a sleeping bag. I hitched around Europe for six months living on my wits, stealing food, selling blood and receiving help and kindness from strangers who became good friends.

All through my twenties I added recreational drugs to my self destructive diet. LSD and mushrooms were life changing for me and guided me into the world of non religious spirituality. Coke and speed  did nothing for me and spliffs made me cough (though hash cookies were a favourite treat). At the same time, alcohol remained my self medication of choice. I began to study Buddhism, especially Zen. Pretty soon the main influence of my life from 1974 was Osho (then known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh) as there was a commune near the village where I lived. (It was also about this time that I discovered Carlos Castaneda and the weird and wonderful world of the Toltec shamanic tradition).

Aged twenty nine, I decide to "get fit" and as I was studying Zen and Taoism at the time I took up martial arts - Lau Gar Kung Fu, TaiChi Chuan and Qi Gong. I was already meditating regularly by this time.

Still unable to maintain any "normal" human relationships, I drifted from one "spiritual" group to another - learning and then dismissing their belief systems - I just didn't fit in anywhere where there were rules and dogma of any kind. I always had Osho to fall back on. I was also strongly influenced by the work of Stuart Wilde throughout the 1990's and first decade of this century. I had the luck to chat with Stuart backstage at a Mind, Spirit, Body show at Olympia one year. I was sad when he left his body in 2013.

In 1989 I met a charismatic Frenchman called Rael who inspired me for a while with his UFO based scientific atheism - but I discovered he was either a fraud or he had been fooled by a cunning alien pretending to be the Jewish biblical "god" Yahweh. If he had read his Old Testament of the bible, he would have been more wary of some little guy claiming to be that deranged, homicidal psychopath. Most of his followers were and still are, intelligent, lovely, peace loving people and I am still friends with some of them. Whatever the truth of Raels' teachings, I did learn a lot about myself while being a "Raelian". Rael taught me how to be sensual and happy and how to appreciate the wonders of life on this planet.

In 1991, by chance, I happened to meet David Icke in Oxford and he really caught my soul - I have been an avid follower of his work ever since.

I was forty years old before I had  my first "steady" relationship (even though we both cheated on each other more than once). Despite that, it lasted eight years. 

Then I met the woman who was to become my life partner despite all the odds (she was a beautiful, sexy, "normal" house owning divorcee with two teenage daughters and I was a penniless, homeless bankrupt, living at my Mothers rented cottage and working as a care assistant). Everybody said she was crazy and the relationship was doomed to fail but we are still together twenty four years later.

I started this blog to give me something to do during the fake plandemic and criminal "lockdowns" of 2020. I was never fooled by this hoax with its fake mRNA "vaccine". As stated earlier, I have always known that "authority" figures are all liars - whatever they say, the opposite is probably closer to the truth.

I have studied shamanism in its various forms for more than five years and found most online teachers wanting (but not all). But that's just my opinion - take a look for yourself on my Useful Links page.  I continue to practice my regular meditation - I have been doing this for years and have taught it to a number of people in my old "mental health" job. I still love the guided shamanic meditations of Sarita Sol I am also fascinated by the work being done by a contemporary "spiritual" teacher, guide, prophet who goes by the name Open and his Openhand group. This is a blend of Shamanism with Kriya Yoga and 5D Ascension philosophy - really interesting but very "out there". Also, I try to follow The Four Agreements. This is Toltec Shamanic wisdom from don Miquel Ruiz, a Toltec Nagual - probably the most useful shamanic path for the average urban westerner as don Miguel teaches what I would call "practical" shamanism - as opposed to the "imaginary" journeys of Core Shamanism.

If you want my opinion (and advice) on the ways of the world or if you don't, fine, here it is anyway.

First, never believe any politician, no matter who or what he or she claims to represent. They are all, without exception, professional LIARS. We don't need a "government". No matter who you vote for in any so called "democracy" you will always get the same "government". We don't need to pay taxes to pay for wars that benefit nobody except Corporations and Arms Dealers. We don't need to pay taxes to keep the so called "elite" (parasites) in the lap of luxury while most struggle to pay the bills (which always go up and never down). If we want real freedom we have to ditch the status quo - the system will have to implode. It will be painful for most but a new Phoenix will rise from the ashes of corruption.

Secondly, avoid ALL organised religions like the plague. Whether they be huge and have been around for thousands of years or small and fairly new - they are all lying to you because they want to control what you believe and how you behave. It makes the religious hierarchy feel important and gives you a FALSE sense of security, a sense of "being looked after". Believe me, nobody is looking after you in these corrupt organisations.

Thirdly, avoid all mainstream media - television news, newspapers and radio. They are all LYING to you because they want to control what you believe and how you behave ( see religions above - it's all about control). Mainstream media, like the politicians, are all owned by the Trillion dollar corporations. They want you to be afraid and insecure so you will accept the next bunch of crap they throw at you. Do your own independent research (and don't trust any so called experts).

Now I have finished this blog on learning shamanism I am continuing my search for truth, wisdom and enlightenment in a world filled with lies, deception, stupidity and darkness. I have no intention of writing about my experiences. Websites I find useful will be added to the Useful Links page from time to time. If you want to be my "friend" - this is my Facebook